While New York sits under a cloud of yellow Canadian brush-fire smoke — payback for all that acid rain we’ve sent them over the years, I guess — Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg has been touting his office’s crime reduction record (no really, I’m serious).

Here’s what he tweeted out:

 

In a word: malarkey! (Hey, it works for Joe).

Aside from the fact that murder is not the best metric of general safety (most murders are either gang shootings or domestics, and so fairly isolated), Bragg is comparing the current year to NYC’s COVID years.

To get a real snapshot of the city’s general safety, we need to go back to 2019 — the last year pre-COVID.

Using that (far more logical) metric, here are the numbers:

 

(calculations courtesy of www.whitecollarfraud.com)

So: for the seven majors, at current pace, Manhattan (Bragg’s jurisdiction) will be up from 27,103 crimes to 34,096 — roughly a 26% increase.

What level Manhattan’s quality of life crimes are up from 2019 is anyone’s guess. The NYPD doesn’t publish those.

But they’re up, believe me. I have eyes.

And despite the haze… they can see through all this.

Nice try, Mr. Bragg. But we see you clearly..

And Finally…

Folks, if you ever find yourself arrested:

1. Don’t slip out of your cuffs.

2. Wear your seat belt.

This has been a public service announcement.

(police video via CNN)